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Shelton explains that he wrote Leadership 101 for White Men and focused on “working successfully with black colleagues and customers because there are ancient issues not sufficiently resolved between us.” He goes on to say, “I’m writing about diversity as a white man who leads, and I’m talking to my own kind.”

Core Ideas

Diversity: Get it right, get it now

Our diverse customers and colleagues observe us getting it when our leadership shows that we care enough to involve them as individuals. They see us evaluate problems and opportunities from a culturally-informed perspective.

A company’s diversity strategy will sustain results only when: it positions the organization to compete for talent and customers; and a growing number of white male managers actually support it.

Define Differences

Diversity, simply put, is a concept to differentiate all the qualities that distinguish us from one another. Race and gender are vital currents in the human river.

Black professionals have complained that white people prefer to define diversity broadly, so we can avoid dealing with race.

The Fundamental Filter

There are three levels of human identity: Each one of us is:

Like All Others
Like Some Others
Like No Other

Here’s an inescapable truth: we are joiners, relational creatures who innately need to associate with those like us.

The challenge for us comes when we try to lead in a way that calls out each person’s uniqueness, while also honoring each person’s cultures (Like Some Others) and similarities (Like All Others).

Keep this tip in mind: Monitor your stereotyping, in which you see an individual as the personification of a group and miss their uniqueness.

As managers, we need to: Focus on Similarities (not to influence others to become like us, but rather to build mutual trust and common commitment) and Focus on Differences (Not to divide, fragment, or reinforce bias, but rather to give due regard to the individual traits that shape our colleagues and customers).

Build Your Diversity Point of View

For years, Shelton has worked to define leadership in ten words or less. His current definition is “achieving results by developing people through work.”

As a leader, you need to develop your diversity point of view—and clarify what you believe, what you have experienced and still need to explore, and what you do and don’t want from diversity.

Learn to Articulate the Business Case for Diversity

If we do not help our colleagues establish a compelling business case for diversity, other white male managers will tend to tolerate, ignore, or resist diversity’s contribution, putting themselves and our organizations at risk.

Seize the Sustainable Collaborative Advantage

Diversity is “the right thing to do” when it is the right thing to do for you. When you experience the benefits of working with diverse people, you seek more. Self-interest is a powerful motivator.

Commit to Personal Response-ability

Our racial ecology includes “natural” features of merit, achievement, preference, privilege and power. From the time we were boys, many of us have taken our advantages for granted.

We believe in enjoying life because we are used to doing so, we deserve to, and we’ve earned it through our accomplishments.

Own Your Whiteness

When white Americans step up and pursue a new degree of personal responsibility for being white, the burden of racial attentiveness will begin to lift from our black colleagues and customers.

Decide what it means to be a good and connective man

You need to define your own masculinity.

You need to understand on your own terms what it means to be a good and connective man.

Shelton’s take on being and leading as a “real man” involves two key practices: integrity & intimacy (focusing on connectedness in relationships).

Consciously and appropriately integrate race and gender into your leadership work

For the effective 21st century leader, diversity requires: Giving human differences their due regard by attending to diversity appropriately in each situation, respecting each individual; and Collaborating or co-laboring to achieve business results with your colleagues, for your customers.

Deepen the particular participation of white men who lead: diversity work that adds measurable value

White male leaders tend to focus on action over contemplation, task over relationship, results over process. So, we grow as leaders when we join our diverse colleagues in thinking longer and clearer, investing more in our relationships, and recognizing that inclusive process produces superior results.

A CEO in a Chicago financial services company refused to develop any business metrics for his firm’s engagement with diversity, saying, “We pursue diversity because it is right—not because it will pay (although it may), not because the law requires it (although we will comply), not because it is trendy, but only because valuing differences in morally correct.” While this ethical inclination is laudable, it is notable that five years later, his commitment to diversity produced positive media attention, but very little in measurable business value for employees and customers.

Start

Explore the Pigment Paradigm

Human cultures have used and still use, differences in skin color and gender to order relationships, distribute resources, and regulate opportunity.

Close the History Rift

We tend to order our identities and daily lives around individuality, our immediate family, and our expectations for the future.

In a Gallup poll, 55% of blacks agreed that government should provide a cash reparation for the ongoing effects of the slave system. 90% of whites disagreed. This is the history rift!

To actualize our national motto, E Pluribus Unum (Out of Many, One), we can explore and heal these divergent views of and experience with the American story.

Travel the Transformation Curve: From Pre-Awareness to Relative Expertise

Consider the continuum of the transformation curve:

Pre-Awareness (“I don’t know what I don’t know”);
Interest and Necessity (“I want to learn and need to learn”);
Careful Skill Progress (Experiment Cautiously);
Adventurous Competence (Effectively diagnose differences at work, problem solve with sensitivity to diverse needs, and proactively manage multiple dimensions of diversity);
Relative Expertise (Mentor others through the previous stages)

Shelton notes that he prefers the term “Pre-Awareness” to the ever-popular “clueless” as a descriptor of white men. It blames less and encourages more.

When you are “ready, willing and able to learn diversity’s lessons fast and well”, the inevitable outcome is awareness.

Generalization + Bias = Stereotyping

In each moment, we can learn to: monitor our generalizations; discipline our biases; and make better choices about how these messages affect our words and behavior.

Think

Consider the Normativity of White Men

Today, white men compose about 38% of the U.S. Workforce but are more than 90% of top Fortune 500 executives, and two out of three managers in many organizations.

While white men who lead are about 5% of the workforce, white men hold more than 80% of the senior leadership positions in America.

The Advantage Complex

Advantages that tend to accompany being a white man in a leadership job include power, privilege, preference, and opportunity. Power is the opportunity and ability to see, make, and carry out choices. When power is defined in this way, it is fair to generally describe white men who lead as powerful people.

Privilege is defined as access to special advantages, benefits, and opportunities.

Advantage Complex: Power + Privilege = A Pretty Sweet Setup in Life

Discipline Your Views of Preference and Affirmative Action

Preference may be defined as selecting one person over another.

Dr. Cornel West in Race Matters, wrote, “Affirmative Action policies were political responses to the pervasive refusal of most white Americans to judge black Americans…on the quality of their skills, not the color of their skin… Given the history of this country, it is a virtual certainty that, without affirmative action, racial and sexual discrimination would return with a vengeance.”

Affirmative Action has contributed to three heartening results:

A larger percentage of leaders in America are women (near 40%) than in any other nation (Sweden is next with under 30%)
Our organizations are more responsive to diverse customers
We have developed a multicultural middle class that is the envy of the world.

Integrity requires us, as white men who lead, to reevaluate our beliefs about our opportunities, in view of the privilege and power we possess. Consider recalibrating how you view your opportunities, in light of your power and privilege.

Uncover and Reframe Racist Assumptions

One simple definition of racism is belief and behavior that discriminates against people of a different race.

See Past the Illusion of Color Blindness

Such mental fiction does not serve us well: everyone is hurt when we pretend not to see color that counts.

Invest Heavily in Due Regard

Due regard is the ability to distinguish among the attributes and cultures of your employees, peers, superiors, and customers, so that you encourage their contributions.

If your natural approach to diversity is “I just don’t take those differences into account, because I don’t want to discriminate,” you miss diversity’s power when you focus on avoiding the pain.

Learn

Enlighten Your Self-Interest and Leverage Your Necessity

Ask yourself, “What do I need to know that I don’t even know to ask about?” That is a world-class question to transition from Pre-Awareness to Awareness.

Disciplined listening (during one-to-ones, interviews, focus groups, surveys, employee forums, team meetings) is the heart of inclusion. When a white male manager seeks diverse input, followers take note of his teachability.

Adventurous Competence: Go for it; it’s revolutionary

If you don’t have a black mentor already, find one. They can be an elder or a peer, and they need to lead with their own power, and be willing to share it with you.

Start sharing your diversity learning with other white men. Transparency is part of the adventure, and we strengthen our point of view when we teach it.

Manage Emotions

Deal with Denial

Replace the language of denial (“How could I know?”) and miscommunication (“that’s not what I meant!”) with words of accountability (“I’m sorry that what I said—or did—affected you like that. It’s not what I intended. Can I tell you what I did mean?”)

Face the Fear

Journalist Lena Williams observes that one legacy from the Jim Crow era—the prohibition of three or more black people gathering, because they may conspire to do harm to whites—is alive and well among us today.

When you encounter a black man you do not know, look him in the eyes with a smile and nod. Don’t stare. And observe your own reaction.

Accept Your Losses

Shelton notes, “When I’ve admitted my humiliating limitations to colleagues I trust, their response has always been a mild and positive, ‘It’s good to see you coming around. Keep going.’ It was great to discover that my standing as a leader was actually enhanced by my teachability and transparency.”

People who are not white men observe that we, as white men, resist leading with human differences in view, because we fear the inescapable loss of power, position, and preference.

While increased competition will challenge us, white men who lead will retain much of our opportunity because we work hard, we want to achieve like anyone else, and our privilege ain’t gone yet. We don’t have to lose for black people to win. The rising tide will lift all boats.

Celebrate the Courage of Your Convictions

Courage may be defined as facing fear and managing conflict with self-possession and resolve.

White men need to courageously step up to diversity’s challenges, and speak their peace: no more silence calling itself patience; no more fear of unintended offense; no more reticence to lead on diversity from the inside out.

If we define convictions as strong and convincing beliefs, then what could the “courage of your convictions” look like?

Respond

Identify Progress, but Focus on Joint Achievement Going Forward

As white men, we should acknowledge progress, but we should lead by focusing on joint achievement going forward. That’s a practical way to work successfully with black colleagues and customers.

We should be proud that America has become a place where so many descendants of slaves have become owners of their lives and dreams. Shelton explains, “I would personally like to hear more black leaders articulate this story line as a celebration of America.” As far as we’ve journeyed as a society, there’s still a long road ahead.

Black people commonly believe that they have to be twice as smart, work twice as hard, and look twice as good just to get a fair shot.

Shelton believes that black citizens will focus more often on what the nation has achieved when white Americans focus on what remains to be accomplished. We need to get busy achieving it—together.

Cultures at Work: Affirm the Power of Group Identity

Strategic leaders are developing human differences as a transformative asset to improve relationships and grow the enterprise. This growth may be viewed in terms of an historic paradigm that moves from dependence to independence to interdependence.

Smart organizations encourage affinity groups to pursue their distinctive needs and interests in a manner that explicitly strengthens the company.

Peer groups are a powerful transformative tactic, as long as the independence they foster pushes the organization toward an interdependence that builds on differences and similarities.

Anticipate and Handle Resistance from White People

Shelton’s research has identified five basic reasons why white male managers avoid diversity’s contribution. More than 800 respondents were asked to mark each answer with which they agreed.

“When I resist diversity at work, it is because:”

78% said “I’m not sure how it helps me do my job”
57% said “I’m already too busy, and it seems like another trendy distraction”
44% said “It is not clear that diversity includes me, except as the bad guy”
41% said “It seems to divide people rather than bring them together”
23% said “I don’t see how diversity adds value if it isn’t related to the customer”

Respond with Intellect and Care to the Crosscurrents in Your Interracial Learning

Keep an Eye on Generational Differences: Younger black coworkers in your organization may experience the workplace quite differently from older black colleagues.

When one fast-rising young black manager was asked about diversity in his organization, he said, “Diversity is the word your generation uses to fight about race.”

Black people do not respond positively when a white person perpetuates the stereotype of black people as lazy (“welfare queens”) and then proceeds to claim that everything white people have comes from talent and achievement, without regard for white privilege and opportunity.

The 55% Rule: Differentiate for Reciprocity

The 55% Rule says that each person is responsible for fully holding up their 50% (no easy thing) and each person can expect the other to extend an extra 5% for the sake of the relationship. This rule holds us accountable to delivering on our commitments, and going some extra distance for one another.

Constantly Calibrate Intent & Impact

Leaders must attend to the gap between what we mean (intent) and how people receive what we say (impact).

Since dimensions of diversity influence the way we send and receive messages, follow the cardinal rule of trustworthy communication: Use the words people want you to use to refer to them.

Never Let the “N-Word” Leave Your Lips, and Quit Using the Exclusion Code

The February 2007 issue of Ebony magazine described the “n-word” this way: “Six simple letters that convey centuries of pain, evil, and contempt.”

“Fit” & “Team Player” are Code Words as in “I don’t think we should hire Michelle. I’m not really sure she would fit, and she doesn’t strike me as a team player.” Journalist Lena Williams describes the idea of “team player” as “white speak for someone who plays by the (white) rules.” In language that conceals the relevance of race, “fit” can be an instinctive exclusion, by which we as white people justify refusing opportunity to black (or other) people, with the implication that they would be uncooperative or unlikable members of the team.

Conversing in White & Black

When entering a conversation involving race and gender differences, pre-empt unspoken concerns about your credibility to participate. Shelton says something like this: “As a white man, my life experience is very different from yours. I know that limits my perspective, because I’ll never see some things from the same view you have. But I’m teachable, and I hope we can really speak our minds here, so we can move forward together.”

Don Imus, a nationally syndicated talk radio host, was thumped off the pinnacle of success for describing an outstanding women’s college basketball team as “nappy-headed hos.” Mr. Imus provides a near-perfect name to this cautionary tale. Imus = I’m Us. Imus Syndrome: When a white male leader disrespectfully talks to or about black people, he risks his position of influence.

Impact trumps intent. Odds are increasing that you will pay a price for speaking to or about black people with disrespect.

Act

Character Counts: Demonstrate Your Being in Your Doing

Character may be defined as the intrinsic values, qualities, and gifts that find expression in a person or organization’s behavior.

In The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling, James Hillman describes character as an “invisible source of personal consistency.”

Respect: Give It. Get It. Keep It.

Underscore your personal diversity learning with other white employees. Vote with your feet by building a reputation for getting out in front of diversity issues, and leading with courage and transparency.

Trust-Building: Make Promises, Keep Promises Over Time

The most important diversity skill for a white man who leads is the capacity for building trust with diverse stakeholders.

Diversity training adds no value as its own end, and such education often leaves white male (and other) participants asking, “What am I supposed to do with this?” Awareness training without skill building is knowledge without application.

A promise is a vow that creates expectation and accountability. Deliver on the following key promises:

I promise to be honest with myself and others regarding my concerns and fears about diversity.
I will keep the promises required by law.
I will make promises about things that matter. Build trust by focusing on how power works within your unit. Foster trust among team members by emphasizing power-with rather than power-over. Choose collaboratively. Trust is built when you exercise power–when you see, make, and carry out choices–with diverse team members.
I will make promises I can keep. Be realistic and honest. Exercise due diligence in setting and evaluating performance objectives with those who report to you. These goals represent key promises between you, because they create expectation and accountability.
I will make promises that evoke reciprocity. By definition, trust is a two-way street. Establish and evaluate achievable goals with your employees.
When I break a promise, I will spend relational capital wisely.

A Strong Friendship Will Change You Forever.

In 1964, 60% of Americans polled indicated a belief that marriage between white and black people should be illegal. By 2006, a Gallup poll among people aged 18-29 found that more than 90% approved of interracial dating, and 60% had dated across the color line.

Raise White Boys Right

Now we have the chance to partner with younger white men and boys as they establish their values, test their qualities, and exercise their gifts.

The generation of our white sons will lead effectively among diverse people, beyond what we can achieve. That’s a legacy we can forge in their character.

White men now compose less than 40% of the enrollment in professional schools in medicine, business, and education.

Influence with Courteous Nonverbals

The Golden Rule—treat others the way you want to be treated—has now been augmented with the Platinum Rule—treat others the way they want to be treated.

Do What’s Right in “Only One” Situations

In the 1990’s, Shelton consulted with a number of companies whose diversity recruiting strategy could be summarized as: “We’ve got to go out and get us some black employees.” That level of thinking usually got them one or two.

Diversification in leadership always begins with that first in management. The simplest way to solve the challenges they face as the “only one” is to select, develop, and retain more people like them. They will stop coping with being the “only one” when they aren’t the only one.

Do what’s right in “only one” situations by hiring enough diverse people, so that no one is the only one. Then, treat each and every one the way they want to be treated—with respect.

Take Care of Yourself, so You Can Keep Up the Good Work

For white men in leadership roles who are also Christian and American, the words of Matthew 25:35 issue a challenge. Jesus promises an eternal inheritance to those who welcome the Stranger. God is confronting white American Christians with this verse—black Americans are the Strangers to be welcomed by us.

The Promise Keepers organization teaches that “success is when the people who know you the best love you the most.”

Lead

Learn to lead in a way that employees across all dimensions of diversity will choose to follow.

Every white man who leads will benefit by subscribing to Diversity Inc.

Navigate Diversity’s Business Trends

In 1987, the Hudson Institute forecast that by the year 2000, only 15% of new entrants into the labor force would be white and male. That is now true.

Before 2050, America will have no ethnic majority. When children born in 2010 are halfway through their lives, being American will no longer be associated with being white.

Middle school girls steer away from competency in math and science. While their interest and performance in these key subjects matches the boys in the elementary years, we are permitting half of our population, around age 12, to disconnect from math and science, two essential fields of endeavor in the 21st century economy.

Almost 40% of all American managers are women, although parity still may be a generation away.

As the world gets smaller, Americans can provide something important and unique: the idea of inclusive nationality, where human differences are tolerated and accepted, and even, when our best selves step up, celebrated.

Leading Among Colleagues

Diversity-related performance objectives are a way for you to establish accountability with your manager. Select a specific area for improving your performance. It needs to be in your sphere of control so success is within reach. Draft a performance objective, and negotiate it with your manager, so she can support you and hold you accountable.

To individualize the way you lead as a white man means that you learn how race and gender shape the individuality of each person reporting to you.

Lead Authentically: People need to know you personally if you want to relate to them as unique contributors. Get to know each follower as an individual. Respect the reality of uniqueness.

As Shelton notes, “Being white and male in America confers on me (and you) the personal freedom to identify myself first and foremost as an individual, and to underestimate the meaning of my race and gender. A black colleague or customer may not enjoy the same liberty.”

Lead your colleagues in a discussion of the concept of fair treatment as “consistent, individualized treatment”, rather than “the exact same treatment for each individual”.

Prevent Inequity

Research shows that black men with professional degrees earn only 79% of what their similarly educated white counterparts make.

In 2005, Government Executive reported “a continuing tension across the federal government between the ideal of a meritocracy on the one hand, and the ideal of a diverse workplace on another. Federal managers are encouraged to make hiring and promotion decisions based on qualifications and performance, but they are also encouraged to consider an applicant’s or employee’s race.”

When is such “consideration” good leadership on diversity and when is it discrimination? Join your organization’s dialogue to resolve this problem.

Motivate with Differences in View

Research on human motivation shows that, to be precise, leaders influence followers to impel themselves to action. Employees move forward to produce and perform because they want to, not because the leader forces them.

Excellent training on influence skills is offered by Situation Management Systems (www.smsinc.com). Their Positive Power & Influence course has equipped more than half a million professionals to pursue their objectives while building relationships.

Make Decisions Inclusively

To build trust as you lead, make decisions inclusively. As much as possible, involve those who will be affected.

Coach for Performance Improvement & Be a Mentor, Find a Mentor

As you deliver behavioral feedback, remember you’re coaching an employee to help him or her improve performance, not judging who they are as a person. Coach to behavior with due regard for dimensions of diversity.

The most underused tool in a manager’s tool kit is authentic and specific praise for excellent performance.

An effective mentoring relationship requires personal transparency; disclose your learning and ask open-ended questions gently at the start: “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and learning about what it means to lead as a white man lately, and I hope we’ll have the chance to include diversity opportunities and challenges in our discussions.” Focus on the work, not on diversity.

Develop a Diverse Team

Tips for developing your diverse team:

Set the pace for diversity learning. Share with the team your three key diversity lessons from the past year and how you are applying this learning to your life and leadership. This is a good way to introduce due regard.
Build a schedule to have fun together, secure some budget for the fun, and make “play” one of the team norms. Adults who play together also produce better, fight less, and stay longer.
Use a team trust tool as a springboard for diversity discussion.

Resolve Conflict

White men who lead should expect conflict. It comes with management responsibility, and it accompanies diversity.

You may have to show some steel when an employee’s private opinions conflict with the company’s values. You do have the right and responsibility as a manager to insist and ensure that your employee’s behavior at work demonstrates that they understand and accept the organization’s commitment to diversity.

Many workplace conflicts find their source in this tension between private opinion and employer expectation.

Ensure that Diversity Training Drives Success

In a recent study, 66% of black women reported that their organizations have failed to address racism against black people.

Shelton has designed and delivered diversity training for 20 years. Here’s one thing he’s learned: awareness education is a waste of time and money, unless it’s connected to skills that help the organization grow.

Prepare High-Potential Employees for Advancement

One of your ultimate achievements as a white man who leads is helping high-potential black colleagues advance in their career.

Some white men, otherwise known for their cultivation of leadership talent, have not succeeded in developing diverse leaders. Famed corporate leader Jack Welch, for example, moved few women and people of color into senior positions at GE. Here’s your chance to best Jack. Commit to building a reputation for preparing high-potential employees for advancement.

Opening promotional doors for black people is a challenge for white men and women. Frances Kendall in Understanding White Privilege writes: “For many men and women of color in corporations and academia, white women are seen as the primary barriers to promotion and tenure. They frequently form a broad band in the middle of the organizational hierarchy as middle managers and associate professors, making it very difficult for people of color to break through and move to the top.” Food for thought and conversation.

Lead Beyond the Law

An organization and its leaders send a powerful message when they surpass diversity-related legal mandates: “We will operate by the letter of the law, and we will leverage the law’s intent.” This is especially true for you as a white man, when your leadership exceeds the promises of the law.

Lead with a Transformative Vision

Here is Shelton’s own transformative vision for leading on diversity:

Lead Your Organization to Success

In 2024, the year I turn 70,

I want to hear black American leaders say out loud:

“Today we see what we never thought we would see–

a generation of white men partnering with us to lead on diversity.

Dare to become the sort of leader your black colleagues have not seen before and do not yet expect: a white man who leads on diversity, with an open heart, a teachable mind, a careful tongue, and the discipline to hold diversity accountable for business results.