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Growing Up a Dungy
What are you going to do to make the situation better? Dr. Wil Dungy
Dungy’s parents encouraged him to follow his dreams and told him that if he wanted to do something, he could do it. And, they said, if he did it the Lord’s way, for the right reasons, he would be successful.
As a teacher, his mom wanted to make sure she helped her students earn As. She didn’t seem concerned about the ones who got the highest grades; she was more worried about the one getting a B who should have been getting an A. She always had an eye toward her students’ God-given potential. In his mom’s mind, the burden was hers: “How can I make the subject more interesting and keep their attention?”
His dad used fishing to teach his children to appreciate the everyday wonders of the natural world God created—the sandy shoreline, the dark pine forests, the shimmering water, and the abundant wildlife. Like his mom, his dad focused on squeezing every bit of potential from his students, especially those who were struggling. His father often said, “If you’re going to be a good teacher, you can’t just teach the A students. A good teacher is one who helps everybody earn an A.” Note that he didn’t say he would give anybody an A but that he would help his students earn it. There’s an important difference.
At the end of the day, Dungy’s father was most concerned with character. He said, “You shouldn’t allow external issues to be a hindrance, whether those issues are based on race or any other factor. Things will go wrong at times. You can’t always control circumstances. However, you can always control your attitude, approach, and response. Your options are to complain or to look ahead and figure out how to make the situation better.”
Dungy learned that blanket rules don’t always fit every individual. Treat everybody fairly, but fair doesn’t always mean equal. Dungy applies that lesson quite frequently with his players.
Putting God First
Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33 (KJV)
Dungy explained how he grew up, “I had been a good kid, by and large; I stayed out of trouble, was usually polite, and stood up for my values. Yet the concept of putting God first in everything I did hadn’t been my primary focus.”
With the Pittsburgh Steelers, Dungy was on the bubble whether he would even make the team. Donnie Shell pointed out to him, “All the Lord is trying to do is find out what’s in first place in your life, and right now, it looks like football is.”
Dungy responded, “It was the first time I was able to look at football as something that God was allowing me to do, not something that should define me. I couldn’t take my identity from this sport; I had to consciously make sure that God was in first place… Finally I understood, and I started to move from being a casual Christian to a fully committed follower of Jesus.”
Learning to Lead
Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. Matthew 20:26-27
Following a brief playing career in the NFL, Dungy was hired by the Head Coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Chuck Noll. Dungy explains that he was very fortunate to be working for Coach Noll. Noll had a coaching routine and never spent needless time at work. He was very family oriented, and Dungy never worried how coaching football and raising a family might clash.
An Unlikely Opportunity
Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3
As an Assistant Coach, Dungy spent regular time studying the Old Testament book of Nehemiah. Through the course of the study, he learned that most of the failings of biblical leaders were spiritual rather than tactical. Dungy understood that he needed to be prepared as much spiritually as he was in the Xs and Os.
In fact, the study of Nehemiah revealed three key truths:
- Nehemiah’s opportunity came in God’s time, not his own.
- Nehemiah diligently prepared his mind and his heart, so he would be ready when God’s time arrived.
- Nehemiah needed to be prepared to take on the problems, doubt, and adversity that would come his way both from the outside and from within.
Dungy was hired for his first head coaching position with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He explained it this way, “In the process, I had once again learned a valuable lesson. God’s plans don’t always follow human logic. I was finally a head coach, but it had happened in a setting and through a process that had made me believe I had no chance. We often can’t see what God is doing in our lives, but God sees the whole picture and His plan for us clearly.”
Building the Faculty
Good teachers help all their students earn an A. Dr. Wil Dungy
While Dungy was in Pittsburgh observing Coach Noll, he learned that you need all types of personalities on a staff. The last thing a leader should do is surround himself with fifteen clones.
Dungy hired his staff with a few basic thoughts in mind:
- They had to be men of character and integrity. While he admired men with a Christian faith, that was not a prerequisite. Integrity, however, was paramount.
- They had to be good teachers; otherwise Dungy wouldn’t consider them.
- He was looking to create opportunities for African Americans who weren’t already in the NFL.
- He was hoping for guys who would make a long-term commitment to the Bucs.
Do What We Do
Taking a page from the Pittsburgh Steelers’ book and the philosophy of owner Mr. Rooney, Dungy explained, “We expect to win a Super Bowl. But if that’s all we do, it will be pretty shallow. We need to not only win but win with players who positively impact the Tampa Bay area.” He told the fans of Tampa that he expected the Buccaneers to live and play by the concept “Whatever it takes,” then added a phrase posted in the locker room: “No excuses, no explanations.”
Dungy further enumerated his expectations:
- Be a pro.
- Act like a champion.
- Respond to adversity; don’t react.
- Be on time. Being late means either it’s not important to you or you can’t be relied upon.
- Do what you’re supposed to do when you’re supposed to do it. Not almost. All the way. Not most of the time. All of the time.
- Take ownership. Whatever it takes. No excuses, no explanations.
After a difficult start, Coach Noll gave Dungy this advice: “Don’t change what you believe in. My first year we won our first game but then lost thirteen in a row. The next year we lost our first four games. Stick with what you want to do, even though it’s not always going to be easy.” Similarly, another experienced NFL coach, Dick Vermeil, told Dungy to stick with his plan. He said it looked to him like the team was making progress—do what we do.
Dungy knew that the first step toward creating an improved future was developing the ability to envision it. Vision ignites the fire of passion that fuels the team’s commitment to do whatever it takes to achieve excellence. Only vision allows the team to transform dreams of greatness into the reality of achievement through human action. Vision has no boundaries and knows no limits. Our vision is what we become in life. Dungy knew their vision had to be one of excellence, of playing the best that they could play every time they hit the field, whether it was practice, regular season, or the Super Bowl.
Defining Success
I would rather play well and lose than play poorly and win. Chuck Noll
Society tends to define success in terms of accomplishments and awards, material possessions, and profit margins. In the football business, winning is the only thing that matters. God’s Word, however, presents a different definition of success—one centered on a relationship with Jesus Christ and a love for God that allows us to love and serve others.
God’s definition of success is really one of significance—the significant difference our lives can make in the lives of others. This significance doesn’t show up in win-loss records, long résumés, or the trophies gathering dust on our mantels. It’s found in the hearts and lives of those we’ve come across who are in some way better because of the way we lived.
Knowing significance is about more than just football, Dungy founded the All Pro Dad organization along with Mark Merrill and Clyde Christensen. Their original goal was to try to reach dads everywhere, whether in the city or the suburbs, married or single. Their message was simple: dads need to spend more time with their kids.
As Mark studied family life in the United States, he had learned that two-thirds of African American teens have absent fathers. And Dungy had learned from visiting prisons that the most common factor among male inmates was growing up without a dad in the home. With those two facts together, they knew more attention was needed on fathers.
Here are ten ways to be an “All-Pro Dad”:
- Love Your Wife
- Spend Time With Your Kids
- Be a Role Model
- Understand and Enjoy Your Children
- Show Affection
- Secure Your Family’s Financial Future
- Eat Together As a Family
- Discipline with a Gentle Spirit
- Pray and Worship Together
- Realize You’re a Father Forever
Football is not your life’s work. Chuck Noll
Dungy explained his experience, “One of the biggest problems with becoming a head coach is that the higher up the ladder you go, the less actual hands-on coaching you get to do. Being responsible for more things means you can’t coach every player the way he needs to be coached. You don’t have enough time to be in every individual meeting to go over assignments and technique. You have to rely on your assistants to do that. I knew from watching Coach Noll and Denny Green how I wanted to do things as a head coach. I hired top-notch people and trusted them to do their jobs.”
Unfortunately, the Tampa Bay ownership decided to go in a different direction, so they let Dungy go. He describes his reaction, “I disagreed with their decision, but I truly believed that since they owned the Buccaneers, it was their decision to make. Plus, if I trust God that all things work together for good, then I have to believe it—even when it doesn’t feel good to me. Tom Lamphere and I had spoken the evening I was fired. He reminded me of two important points. First, if I had any bitterness in my heart, it would only hurt me. While bitterness is a natural emotion, I knew I needed to pray and let God remove it so I could press on. Second, I needed to remember that this was all ultimately designed for good. Tom reminded me of Romans 8:28 and the Old Testament story of Joseph, which both have the same message: God is in control of our future, and He’s working for our good—whether we can see it now or not.”
Dungy would later reflect, “A Super Bowl win with the Bucs would have been wonderful. I could have used that platform in a tremendous way. But I think my getting fired had an even greater impact. It’s easy to be gracious when you’re getting carried off the field in celebration. It’s more difficult when you’re asked to pack up your desk and your pass code doesn’t work anymore. I think people look more closely at our actions in the rough times, when the emotions are raw and our guard is down. That’s when our true character shows and we find out if our faith is real. If I’m going to call myself a Christian, I have to honor Jesus in the disappointments, too.”
A Soft Landing
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
Jim Irsay, the owner of the Indianapolis Colts, left Dungy a message shortly after he was out of a job, “Having only moved to Indianapolis in 1984, we don’t have the long-established fan bases of Pittsburgh, Chicago, Cleveland, or other cities, but we’re still trying to develop that base. I want an organization—and team—that emphasizes character, values, and family, and I want it to extend out into the community in a meaningful way.”
Irsay went on to say that when he was a kid, he had been a ball boy for his dad and had watched the Steelers during the years Dungy played. Dungy aspired to be like the Rooneys and create that type of organization. “You’re the only person I want for this job,” he said. He concluded his fifteen-minute mission statement by saying, “Don’t worry about your salary, and don’t let your agent mess this up. I’ll pay you whatever you want. We just need to talk man to man.”
Jim Irsay’s phone message touched both Tony and Lauren Dungy. They decided that God was continuing the football dream for the Dungys—and not just the game but also the ongoing platform and ministry opportunities. Hoping they were still faithfully following God’s leading, the Dungys joined the Colts.
More than anything, Dungy’s challenge with the Colts was to sell them on the idea that teams win championships. They needed to come together as a complete team—offense, defense, and special teams. “Be patient,” Dungy told his team. “Keep doing the ordinary things better than anyone else. Be uncommon. Do what we do.”
An Unforgettable Season
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28
The Colts were off to a fast start in the 2005 season when tragedy struck the Dungy family. James Dungy, the 18-year-old son of Tony and Lauren Dungy, was found dead in a Tampa-area apartment from a suicide.
During the funeral, one of the first songs sung was “I Will Bless the Lord at All Times,” which says, “I will bless the Lord, and praise for Him will always be in my mouth.” These words were taken from Psalm 34, which David wrote. David didn’t write that at a time of triumph. He wrote it when he was on the run from Saul, fleeing for his life in desperation. Even so, he was able to say that he would constantly praise God and bless Him. Dungy explains, “That’s not easy to do. In fact, it’s difficult at times. The only way we can praise God at all times is to remember that God can provide joy in the midst of a sad occasion. Our challenge today is to find that joy… What’s kept our family going these last couple of days is what we believe, and we believe God when He says that He works all things for His good for those who love the Lord. It’s hard to accept because we can’t always see it, but we have to believe it. I know that Jamie loved the Lord, and our hope is that God will be glorified today as we remember Jamie.”
Dungy urged those in attendance not to take their relationships for granted. In his words, “Jamie’s death will never make sense to me, and the pain of losing him will never go away. But in the midst of it all, I truly believe that hope is available to all of us—for joy in today and peace in the certainty that heaven’s glory awaits us. Rather than asking why, I’m asking what. What can I learn from this? What can I do for God’s glory and to help others? I learned two primary things from our experience and from talking to countless other parents. First, there is no typical grief cycle, and second, it’s not something I went through. I’m still grieving, as is Lauren. Lauren and I knew our only option was to trust God and let Him lead us through the pain. Even though we didn’t understand why Jamie had taken his life, our job was to persevere and continue to follow the Lord no matter what. Pressing on to help others is all I can do. It’s all any of us can do. I’m certain it’s what God wants us to do, and He will use it all for good because He loves us.”
Race to the Super Bowl
When the Colts were slated to play the Bears in the Super Bowl, it was a historic game—the first two African American head coaches (Dungy and Bears’ Coach Lovie Smith, who served as one of Dungy’s Assistants in Tampa Bay) in the Super Bowl. Dungy expressed his excitement to share the honor with Lovie, who coaches the same way he did and shares the same values. They both knew how meaningful the game would be to black America.
Athletes in Action approached both coaches about taking out a full-page ad in USA Today on their faith. An individual was willing to donate the funds for the ad if they would do it. Lovie and Tony readily agreed, and AIA also set up a Web site that contained the ad content. That site received thousands of hits on the first day it went public. This was a landmark game—another step in our nation’s history—and a memorable day for black Americans.
Ultimately, the Colts defeated the Bears 29-17 for Dungy’s Super Bowl win!
Dungy says, “And so we press on. We press on with our memories, our hearts buoyed by a God who loves us and wants us to know Him deeply. We press on with our sense that life’s not always fair. And we press on with the knowledge—and assurance—that even though we can’t see all of God’s plan, He is there, at work and in charge, loving us. We press on with the conviction that even though we don’t deserve the gifts and blessings we’ve been given, He gives them anyway. We press on into an abundant life on earth, followed by an eternity with God…
What this is all about. Touching lives. Building a legacy—not necessarily on the field but in those places that most people will never see. Trying to be faithful in the position God has given me. I love coaching football, and winning a Super Bowl was a goal I’ve had for a long time. But it has never been my purpose in life. My purpose in life is simply to glorify God. We have to be careful that we don’t let the pursuit of our life’s goals, no matter how important they seem, cause us to lose sight of our purpose. I coach football. But the good I can do to glorify God along the way is my real purpose. I want to help people see the path to eternal life through Christ, to enjoy an abundant life now, and to fulfill their God-given purposes here. We are all role models to someone in this world, and we can all have an impact—for good.”
Following his Head Coaching career, Dungy continues to recognize, “We are all role models, and we all can and should have a positive impact on someone’s life. God has placed each of us where we are for a reason: within our spheres of influence at work, in our neighborhoods, in our families. He wants us to touch lives wherever He leads us. We all can change the course of our nation and world, one life at a time, for the rest of our lives.”
May Dungy’s Quiet Strength and lessons on life and leadership serve you well as you shoot for the stars!